This is an except from Rose's diary that shows her inner thoughts and feelings.
It's best to read this after you have read Birth of a Destiny.
Today is the first time I have written in my diary, since ... before.
Today is also the first day I have been able to sit up in my hospital bed and hold a pen properly.
I can't bear to write in my old diary anymore. A few days ago, I opened up my old diary for the first time. Even the sight of those pages makes my world seem upside down and inside out. It was like I could see the words, but they didn't seem real, and they certainly didn't look like they belonged to me.
How could it have been me who wrote in big, multi-coloured bubble writing, drew little funny pictures, glued in my results from my latest equestrian event, counted down the days until my birthday? That girl was happy, that girl was free, that girl was naïve, and I realised I am no longer that girl and to be honest, I never want to think about her again.
All I wanted to do was rip it up, the book that I had poured my heart and soul into. I wanted to watch the wind pick up the tiny shreds and blow them far, far away. But, as my hand reached for the pages, some small part of me protested. It wasn't loud and I could have easily ignored it, but for some reason, I listened to it, and closed the book and shoved it far, far away - before I changed my mind.
Luckily, my Aunt Maria called me from the farm the next day and asked if I wanted her to send me anything? I think she was very surprised when I asked about a new diary. She's been asking me for weeks, and I'm sure she was expecting my usual, 'no thanks, but thanks anyhow,' response. Anyhow, sure enough, two days later you arrived in the post, my new diary, covered in felt in all different shades of blue.
As I turned your soft, fuzzy cover in my hands, I wondered about the words that would fill your pages. Words and sentences that do not belong in my old diary, my old life, that's for sure. But, words that belong here. After. I already don't like the words, but I will write them to you anyhow. You have always listened, and I'm sorry you will have to listen now.
Am getting tired now. I need to sleep. Again.